You could call Pink’s new song my theme song of the day yesterday. It was a you-know-what day.
One of those days with a ton of annoyances that just put me in a mood.
I couldn’t go to Trader Joes for groceries and ended up standing in line for TWENTY-TWO minutes at the local grocery store because they had only one lane open. Then, the woman in front of me got out of line while her stuff was being scanned to disappear for almost 5 minutes while she went back for like 10 other items she forgot.
The long lines made me late to the fall conference with Makenzie’s teacher to discuss how she’s doing so far this year. Being late to anything at her school always makes me feel judged as that “poor young mom who doesn’t have it all together because she’s a young mom”. Probably in my head, but it’s how I feel all.the.time. and even more so when I arrive late or forget to do something or send something in, etc.
The late conference in turn made it impossible to make it to the yoga class I planned on visiting and was looking forward to all morning. When I miss a planned workout, it’s not too pretty. I try to go with the flow, but there are times it can take a negativity nose dive in my day. Yesterday was one of those days. Missing that stress release left me all bound up and my anxiety got the best of me. I got in a mood and there was a LOT of negative self-talk the remaining hours of the day and afternoon.
The kids didn’t nap. I didn’t get anything I needed to get done completed. The kids fed off of my mood and were pushing my buttons left and right while also aiming to get on each others’ nerves and pick fights. I emotionally ate a bowl of ice cream (it isn’t eating ice cream that upsets me, it’s the mentality and drive behind it that does). A sudden huge migraine hit me just before having to drive in the rain to take Makenzie to gymnastics.When I got home from Makenzie’s gymnastics and let our dog, Roxy, in from outside she took off out the garage door. I couldn’t catch her.
I got annoyed to have to go chase after her with 2 kids in the rain. Then I decided Peter was on his way home and Roxy usually runs around the corner to my brother-and-sister-in-law’s place where she plays with their dog. So, I didn’t grab the kids to go after her.
Peter couldn’t find her when he went looking.
An hour later we got a call from a woman who found her on the side of the road.
She had been hit. The insane amounts of guilt immediately enveloped me like a dark cloak. Someone had hit her and left her, but the guilt still fell on my heart.
Turns out the accident had broken my poor Roxy’s back and caused a significant amount of internal damage. We had no choice but to put her down.
My dog died last night.
And it all made the ridiculous complaints and frustrations of my day seem…well, ridiculous.
Life is short. And it is a blessing. Sometimes we lose that perspective. I certainly do my best to keep my blessings at the forefront of my mind and constantly thank God for all He has done in my life. But I have my days too. Days where I lose perspective and can’t seem to climb out of a needless funk.
It disheartens me that not long ago my heart was breaking over those who lost so much in Hurricane Sandy and counting my blessings in the after of that devastation. Then, to forget it all so easily because a few hiccups in a completely blessed day. In no way am I comparing the death of my dog to the things others faced after Sandy. I just hoped to highlight how quickly we can lose that perspective. And how pained I am that such insignificant things affected my day, when now I have a much bigger pain I can’t even wrap my head around right now.
Life is short.
We have so much to be thankful for each and every day.
Hold onto that perspective tight.
It makes the short life that much sweeter, even amidst the pain.
In loving memory of Roxy.
Your Turn – What is the last time you had to gain a little perspective? What blessings do you have in your life today?