My Mother’s Day Gift: Light at the End of the Tunnel

by tinareale on May 13, 2013

Morning, everyone! First of all, I want to thank you so much for the encouragement of Friday. It was a bit hard to open up asking for support and sharing “What’s Beautifulin such a raw way, but hearing from you all affirmed why blogging and this community mean so much to me. Had to kick this post off with a thanks to you! Also, I know I have dropped the ball a bit recently with the “Saturday Shares” posts, but here’s hoping this is the last week that happens. I miss reading your blogs!

There’s actually starting to feel like a light at the end of the tunnel. Celebrating Mother’s Day this weekend helped me feel that way even more…but not how you might think. No, I didn’t receive any gifts in the traditional sense of flowers, meals prepared for me, or even a card. No, I didn’t stop dealing with severe stress and anxiety problems. Yes, I still found myself hiding in the bathroom, crying on the floor for a good fifteen minutes over the weekend because, well, my dad. Yes, I still haven’t completely shaken the sense of emptiness and loneliness because I feel like I have zero to give. It’s getting better, but still not 100% whole.

I don’t mean for this post to be so depressing. What I hope to say is that even through all of those emotions, I simply didn’t care that Mother’s Day wasn’t the standard celebration and dedication to me. Not only because I didn’t feel worthy of celebration at all since I haven’t felt like myself lately and the mother I know I am. Mainly because that wasn’t what I needed this time. This time I got just what I needed through the weekend.

Some Joyful Moments With the Kids. Saturday morning I headed out to run to the store with the kids, just like every Saturday morning. We had to make a pit stop first, though.

I wanted to give to them some light fun for no reason whatsoever, so we headed right to Dutch Monkey Doughnuts for a mommy time break. Their excitement rubbed off on me – as well as their vanilla icing. And I certainly enjoyed the maple doughnut and coffee I got for myself. A perfect morning retreat.

Help. We also picked up a doughnut to bring back to my mother-in-law because she planned to come help us with a lot of the house work Saturday. And help she did! I feel like we got so much done this weekend and it was a big thanks to her. It can be hard asking for help sometimes, but man is it appreciated.

Then I feel kind of bad for the next one. As my mother-in-law was bonding over house projects with Peter (don’t worry, that’s sort of his family’s “thing”), I spent the day away from the house with the kids to have time with good friends. An afternoon with your best girlfriend can do wonders for the soul. Peter told me to get out of the house because he knew what good it would do for me and the kids.

We originally went with the kids and her husband to a little festival called “Woofstock” that had a bunch of dogs and some activities for kids. I think we spent more time looking for parking than actually at the festival. Of course it started a steady, gross, drizzly rain right after getting there. We tried to go through it for about 15-20 minutes but then gave up. All we managed to do was grab some balloons for the kids and take this hilarious picture at the Six Flags pretend roller coaster booth.

woofstock kids

Ha! This picture is SOOOOO Makenzie and Braedon. Don’t they look thrilled to be there? Yea. We left right after that one to go back to my friend’s house for the afternoon. The kids played. We sat and talked. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful afternoon.

Time with my mom. Along with time with a good friend, this weekend I gave both my mom and myself the best gift you can give – presence. After church on Sunday (which praising God was so what I needed this weekend too), I got to spend a few hours with my parents. Sure my Dad somehow always knows which buttons to push and made me cry not in a good way, but other than that I loved being there with my mom. She is the strongest woman I have ever known and being around her gave me some extra strength.

Last, but certainly not least, this weekend also gave some extra hope. We got some good news this weekend which I seriously did not expect to receive. It was just what we needed to hear and I pray that it all works out as it hopefully should. Let me be clear on one thing, I have never stopped hoping in the Lord and knowing He will work all things out to a greater good. His strength is ALL that has kept away  the cloak of depression and the desire to spend all day in bed or eating away the concerns. While I don’t feel nearly like myself or have the energy for the fullness of life I believe in, I still count my blessings and have hope in His strength. I rely on Him each and every day.  This weekend, though, we received a tangible evidence of that hope…not a moment too soon. Whatever prayers, positive thoughts, whatever you can send our way, I know I would appreciate it.

So not the traditional Mother’s Day celebration and post, but it is what it is. And it’s just what I wanted.

How was your weekend? Received any good news lately or have anything you need prayer for?


1 Coco May 13, 2013 at 7:26 am

Glad this weekend turned out well for you. Yesterday was a fail from the “day off” perspective — I went to the grocery store, did laundry, planned dinner, did the dishes and even did a bit of housework — but it was a great mother’s day because my daughter came home for a visit and my mom came over for dinner. ;-)

2 Katie @ Peace Love & Oats May 13, 2013 at 7:30 am

I’m so glad you got what you needed this weekend, and I hope things start going your way with the house hunting! Keeping you in my prayers, Tina!

3 Lindsay's List May 13, 2013 at 7:41 am

i need to see you soon and hug!!

4 Linz @ Itz Linz May 13, 2013 at 7:46 am

Definitely will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers, Tina! xoxo

5 Miz May 13, 2013 at 7:57 am

**reaches through the monitor and HUGS HUGS HUGS YOU**

6 Kim May 13, 2013 at 7:59 am

I’m glad that you still have your faith through all of this!! I hope this week is a great week for you and that you can continue with your positive feelings from the weekend!!

7 Meghan May 13, 2013 at 8:00 am

I love how real and honest you are about life! My Mother’s Day wasn’t what many imagine either but we had our mothers over for brunch, I spent time with my husband and son and they gave me socks. It was a great day because my mother has Alzheimer’s so anytime she spends time with my son it leaves memories for the future, my husband has been in grad school for the last 2 years and hasn’t had much time with us (and starts today for his last semester) and well I needed socks. Praying for your family!

8 Heather May 13, 2013 at 8:36 am

You are so strong girl. Keep on keeping on!
My prayer request is the same one I told you about awhile back. :)

9 Amanda @runtothefinish May 13, 2013 at 9:37 am

hugs and love and positive vibes coming your way! you are right there is something special about a good girlfriend chat

10 Marla-Deen May 13, 2013 at 12:10 pm

Tina, I lost my brother and best friend suddenly and tragically this summer. Climbing out of the pit has been a long journey and only my faith keeps me going. I feel for your hurt whatever it is and know your faith will also get you through. I felt led to comment because one of my brother’s favorite saying was always, “it is what it is”. We learn it is not our plan, and I have also adopted that as my motto at times. Here’s to a better week for you and yours!

11 Tina May 13, 2013 at 1:38 pm

Thanks, Marla. “it is what it is” is definitely a way to look at things and make the best of them. I feel for your hurt too and can’t fathom that pain. Things feel so trivial when I logically look at them compared to the heartache others face (like yours), but dang that old anxiety and depression and past hurts don’t find a way of showing themselves. Thank you for your prayers, comment, and encouragement. Wishing the same wellness and wholeness to you.

12 Angela @ Happy Fit Mama May 13, 2013 at 12:23 pm

Do glad that you found some joy this weekend. It’s always around just sometimes you need to really search high and low for it. Thinking of you…

13 [email protected] May 13, 2013 at 2:02 pm

Glad you were able to find and see a glimmer of hope. That’s always such a great gift b/c hope is what allows us to weather the storms. Prayers to you! <3 xo

14 [email protected] May 13, 2013 at 2:43 pm

I know the light at the end of the tunnel would come your way soon…it always does and I hope manage to reach it sooner rather than later. Thoughts, prayers, love and admiration being sent your way. Delighted you had a good weekend…for the most part xxx

15 Heather @fitncookies May 13, 2013 at 3:05 pm

So happy to hear you are feeling better and had a “light at the end of the tunnel” moment! I hate knowing anyone I care about feeling depressed, but you handled it SO well!! Keep doing what you are doing, because you are amazing!

16 Stephanie May 13, 2013 at 3:20 pm

Tina… I have only recently started following your blog (which I am really enjoying). Is there a post where I can learn of the difficulty with your dad. I, too, have issues with mine. If not, that’s ok and I really do not mean to pry! I will, however, keep you in my prayers.

17 tinareale May 14, 2013 at 7:28 am

I’m not sure if there is a post on my current blog (I used to blog at a different address prior to this one). You can always reach out via email, though. I’m always open about such things because we really can find encouragement and strength in one another.

18 Tiff @ Love Sweat & Beers May 13, 2013 at 4:31 pm

I’m sorry the weekend wasn’t better, but aside from the low points, it still sounds pretty good. Keep putting your faith in Him and your arms around your kiddos. Hang in there girl!

19 Pavement Runner May 13, 2013 at 5:50 pm

Time with the little ones is always fun. Next time they should throw their hands in the air and one should be making a jump for it. :)

20 Ashley @ My Food N Fitness Diaries May 13, 2013 at 5:51 pm

Hugs to you Tina!!!

21 Danica @ It's Progression May 13, 2013 at 7:09 pm

I’ll be praying for you!!

22 Cait @ Dare to Move May 13, 2013 at 7:54 pm

I love this! It sounds like a perfectly imperfect weekend… God is incredible, and His plans are always so much better than our own! And when we place our hope in Him and not in the outcome of our circumstances, it makes it these sorts of seasons a little more manageable, doesn’t it? :) Hang in there!

23 Erin @ Girl Gone Veggie May 13, 2013 at 8:21 pm

I’m so glad you had just the kind of Mother’s Day you needed! I’m sending love and virtual hugs your way!

24 purelytwins May 13, 2013 at 8:42 pm

yay for having a weekend that you needed, love that when it happens :)
we enjoyed our weekend. it was perfect relaxing and productive!
thinking of you!!!

25 Anna May 14, 2013 at 7:10 am

Tina I have been praying for you and will continue to do so. Please read Psalm 139. It reminds me how intimately God knows me and I find it extremely comforting.

26 tinareale May 14, 2013 at 7:29 am

You know what is CRAZY? That was my psalm for my reading plan this morning!

27 Katie @ Talk Less, Say More May 14, 2013 at 9:00 am

We all have those days, moments, weeks, hours, what-have-you that are full of highs and lows and that’s okay. I’m sorry parts of your weekend were such a roller coaster but I’m sending you LOVE and strength.

28 Laura @ Mommy Run Fast May 14, 2013 at 12:43 pm

So glad you had a glimpse of hope this weekend. It’s hard to keep pushing on when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel… a day out with a good friend, worship, time with your mom. Sounds like it was just what you needed!

29 jobo May 14, 2013 at 2:26 pm

Friend, I am so glad that you got a sign of hope that you needed. Prayers and strength to you and your family right now. I truly appreciate your words and honestly and ‘rawness’ as well…and I am sending you as many hugs as I possibly can! XOXO

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